My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
