yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
