he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
