I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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