does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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