ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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