Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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