He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
