you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
