is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
