Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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