We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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