it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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