There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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