you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
