If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
