Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
