my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
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you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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