I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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