I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
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Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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