so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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