and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
