Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
