Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You can't motorboat a personality
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
