dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
