actually, I'm a sock model
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
