Umm I'm too high to move.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
