LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
