Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Your face is a jimmy john
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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