im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
