OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
