I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A+ Viking dick
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize