hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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