I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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