That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
