That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
