Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
