What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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