I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
