just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I am one with the molecules
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
