It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
