Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
