I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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