I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
