make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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