I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
