i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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