We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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