ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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