i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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