Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
