if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
