nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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