tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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