So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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