did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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