I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
