He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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