I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
