Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
