guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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