How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
