1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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