She said her name was "party"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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