True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
