oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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