take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
