"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
