I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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